The Ripple Effect

I haven't written a blog post in over a year because frankly, I have not had the time or inspiration to write.  But this week I have something to talk about.

I have a really hard time telling my five-year-old son that there is bad in the world.  I want to shield him from it as long as I can to show him how good people are.  I am an idealist, and my idealist beliefs often clash with the negative events that unfold every day in our world.  

Like many, I have been deeply impacted by the tragic death of Meg Menzies.  As a runner and a mom, I feel connected to her in a way that I can’t explain.  I have tried, but there are no words to say how incredibly sad I feel for this family.  Even at a young age, I always understood what empathy is.  I have always been able to put myself in someone else’s shoes and imagine their pain, and in turn, feel their pain too in my own body and mind.  The pain that Meg’s husband, Scott, and their children are enduring is absolutely heartbreaking, painful, raw, excruciating, tragic.

And then there’s the ripple effect.  When someone passes away, we often don’t hear about the outer layer of people that is affected.  We tend only to hear about the immediate family and friends.  When this accident first happened, all I could think about was her poor husband and children who were left without a wife and mother.  I thought about her friends who ran with her and would miss her on their training runs.  I thought about her parents who were saying goodbye to their daughter.  What came next was astonishing…the impact to the outer layer.

The last time I checked, more than 94,000 people had signed up to run in Meg’s honor last Saturday.  #Megsmiles has touched people from the corners of the Earth.  Non-runners and runners alike have been getting out there, logging miles, wearing blue or purple, in her honor, from Siberia, China, Australia, Canada and all over the world.  These 94,000 people are the outer layer.  More than 94,000 people have been affected by her death so much that they are trudging out in snow and ice and rain to run for Meg.  They are running alone, they are running with friends and family, they are running with their pets.  They are crying for the family while they run.  They are getting out there after months or years of being sedentary.  Parents are hugging their kids tighter.  Husbands are holding their brides closer.  Whether it was 2 blocks or 20 miles, people are getting out there to show support to Meg and the inner layer of people affected by Meg’s passing.  The positivity we as a human race has shown while mourning the loss of someone we have never met is overwhelming.  And although a lot of us have been feeling the pain of this family, we have to see this act of human kindness as nothing short of remarkable.   

One drunk driver.  Over 94,000 human beings affected.  It is NEVER worth it to drive intoxicated or distracted.  Please put the keys away after drinking and please put the phone down when driving.  Savor the life you are given and act responsibly.  

I can't imagine ever going running again and not thinking of this incredibly special woman who has touched so many lives.   Every run, walk, message, tweet, hug or thought that has been made in Meg's honor allows me to show my son that there is good in the world, even in the face of tragedy.  That's a lesson I am proud to carry forward.

What is YOUR Limit?

Exploring limits have been a theme in my house lately, in many ways.  Reese is pushing his limits as a now four-year-old.  I am exploring my limits as a parent and what I can and will tolerate.  And Fran and I are pushing our limits with regards to fitness.

Fran and I have always been active.  We enjoy being athletic and thrive on the next big challenge.  I have done half-marathons, full marathons and sprint triathlons.  Fran has done mountain bike races and the same half-marathons and full marathons.  But the first of the year brought a new push to our limits.

I started a boot camp class.  I discovered muscles I didn't know were still there from my younger days.  The workouts are reminiscent of my Virginia Tech Crew days, when I was much younger and more energetically inclined.  I find myself in extreme oxygen deprivation three times per week for 30 minutes at a stretch, and I LOVE it.

I am most proud of Fran, who just committed himself to the Shenandoah 100 Backcountry Mountain Bike Race, a tour on the bike covering 100 miles of fire road and single track in the Shenandoah Mountains.  He knows it is going to be his biggest challenge to date, and he is totally jazzed about it.

We watched a documentary recently called "Bicycle Dreams" about the Race Across America, a 3000+ mile road race from San Diego to Atlantic City.  These athletes ride for 40+ hours before sleeping, rest about an hour and then jump back on their bikes.  They repeat this over the course of about nine days until they finish.  They cover approximately 350 miles per day and suffer symptoms such as delirium, hallucinations and extreme physical pain.  And they love it too.  And although I have no desire to put my body through that much pain, I understand their thinking.

This movie made me ponder why we love the physical challenges we set ourselves out to complete, no matter how much pain we experience from them.  For some, it's improving their time, qualifying for another race, or beating an opponent they haven't before.  For me, it is seeing how far I can push my body.  Nothing feels better than crossing over the finish line knowing I did it and raced as fast as I possibly could have that day.  Just using everything I have in me to race and leaving a race exhausted is so fulfilling.

So I ask, what is your limit?  What would you want to do if you put your mind to it and committed to it?  A 5k?  Marathon?  Ironman?  Bike race?  Feel free to share.  I'd love to hear about your fitness goals and what you are inspired to accomplish!

If My Head Wasn't Attached...

Before kids, I had it all together.  I could recall facts and remember important things to do (and do them in a timely manner).  I was extremely organized in both my closets and my daily happenings.  I actually finished tasks without starting and stopping them repeatedly.  Basically, I didn't feel like the total scatterbrain that I feel I have become since welcoming my darling child into this world three-and-a-half years ago.  Now, a normal day around here consists of me losing my keys at least three times (sometimes I find them in hand when I'm looking for them), racing around the house trying to get myself and my son out the door, not being able to complete a sentence when I'm on the phone with friends, and settling for clothes that have a little stain on them (but should anyone ask, I'm prepared to say I spilled something on myself in the car).  Once, I even washed my face with my glasses on.  I wish I were kidding!  

So why is this worthy of writing about?  Because I CANNOT be the only one who feels this way after becoming a parent.  I’m begging you, someone, anyone...come out of hiding!  Pardon the political reference, but please help me feel more like the 99% and not the 1%.  

As a frazzled, always-feeling-behind-the-eight-ball, stay-at-home mom, how on Earth does my house not burn to the ground?  It’s simple.  When my little boy was born, my priorities shifted.  Although I love having a clean house, plopping on the couch after a long day trumps scrubbed floors any day.  As for recalling facts and remembering important things to do, well, recalling the lyrics to “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad” ranks much higher than recalling my “To Do” list.  In 2027 when Reese is eighteen, I’ll resume having a tidy house, wear clean clothes, and have complete conversations with friends.  Until then, it’s business as usual…wait, where are my keys?

Rock n' Rollin' Like a VIP!

Almost a year ago to the day, I wrote about the irritating concert experience we had when we saw 311 in Virginia Beach.  Meatheads dancing in our paths, little stripper girls shaking their thangs, and just the general distractions that great people-watching can bring.  But today, I am writing about the 180 degree turn our 311 concert experience took last night.

I have always been a believer that timing is EVERYTHING.  Even one second can change the course of your life.  Ever seen "Sliding Doors" with Gwyneth Paltrow?  I'm all over that concept.  This is the story about how timing worked to our advantage to give us the best concert experience of our lives, and how we have my brother, Sam, and his wife, Ledy, to thank for it.

We travelled from Williamsburg to Bristow (right outside of Manassas) to see this show.   Our concert key players were me, Fran (my husband), Olivia (Fran's sister), Andy (Olivia's husband), and Sam and Ledy.  The four of us were waiting for Sam and Ledy, who were late arriving to our meeting spot at 5:30 because they forgot their tickets and needed to go back home, putting them thirty minutes behind schedule.  They are the ones responsible for getting us in the car later than planned and getting to the concert later than planned.  Had we not arrived later than planned though, we would have missed the amphitheater employee who approached us about upgrading our tickets to VIP status.

"So what's VIP status?" we asked.  VIP status meant having access to the VIP lounge (a sprawling, private deck with cabanas and tables, our own private food and beverage tent, and our own personal server to bring us said food and beverage).  VIP status meant having our own box in which to sit, separating us from anyone who might bump into us, breath on us, spill on us, dance in front of us, or just generally bother us.  VIP status meant having our own server at our box to deliver drinks and food whenever we wished.  VIP status meant having our own bathrooms to use that were free from the oppressive humidity and filth that the other bathrooms had.  VIP status meant having our own entrance to our box seats.  At $20 per person, it was the best decision we've ever made!

With all of these frills came an unexpected ego boost.  We all felt like celebrities (or at the very least very important people, which coincidentally was the amphitheater's intention).  We were giddy with excitement and kept repeating how "special" we felt being in this box.  Before this show I would have guessed that if I were to ever be a celebrity, I would be a very humble one.  But after the teeny tiny glimpse I got of being "important", I can see how celebrities get the diva mentality, and I could see me getting a little full of myself as a celebrity.  It was very easy to get wrapped up in the excitement of people waiting on you hand and foot!

So, no bumps, spills, distractions, muss, or fuss...lots of drinks, food, privacy, space, and the treatment as if we were famous.   Rolling VIP for the night was by far the best way to go.  Our concert experience was and most likely will be the best one we'll ever have.  And it's all due to the timing of Sam and Ledy forgetting their tickets and needing to return home to pick them up.

For now, we are back to reality.  We are special, but not in a VIP kind of way.  At home, nobody is bringing us drinks, our bathroom isn't all that special, and we don't have a sprawling deck to sit on and have drinks brought to us.  But for one night, we got to live it up, and we rocked that 311 show in the most legendary way!  Thanks, Sam and Ledy!

Fran was mid-sentence when the nice girls in front of us snapped this picture.

L to R: Olivia, Andy, Fran, me, Sam, Ledy

Our magical wristbands!

What a Difference a Day, a Week, and a Year Make!

One year, one week, and one day is what it will have taken to get settled again after Fran lost his job.  I could never have predicted the length of time we would be waiting, but it turns out that 1-1-1 is our lucky combination.  Here's the breakdown...

June 7, 2011- Fran lost his job
July 20, 2011- Fran takes his DREAM job working at our local cycling shop
August 4, 2011- We list our house on the market
February 27, 2012- We sell our house!  Hooray! (Thanks to our wonderful real estate agent!)
April 17, 2012- Our offer is accepted on the third house we made an offer on.  (The third time is definitely the charm!)
April 21, 2012- Moving day into our rental/neighbor's house (thank you to our fabulous neighbor who needed a housesitter while out of town!)
June 15, 2012- We will move into our new, permanent house!

That's 1 year, 1 day, and 1 week summed up.  It was the busiest, most emotionally taxing year of our lives so far, but we have made it!  Fran LOVES his job, we get to spend so much more time together as a family, and we have a permanent roof over our heads coming soon.  Life is good!  Hope everyone's summer is off to as good of a start as ours is!

How I Doth Love the Boob Tube

Watching TV is probably my favorite thing to do.  Scratch that...watching TV is DEFINITELY my favorite thing to do.  I don't like reading, unless in small installments, such as People magazine; I thoroughly enjoy catching up with my friends in Hollywood.  But with the advent of book clubs, I can't help but be left in the dark, except for the light that illuminates from my TV.  I've been thinking lately about why I love TV so much.  They say TV can be bad for you and that books are so much better for you, blah blah blah.  But I'm going to prove otherwise.

1.  For us, it's a ritual...Fran and I make dinner and sit down at the coffee table (I can count on one hand how many times he and I have actually shared a meal at the kitchen table) and continue on the series that we are following.  Currently, our favorite is "Mad Men".  (Other winners that I recommend are "Arrested Development", "Weeds", "The Wire", and more currently, "Parenthood", "Modern Family", and "How I Met Your Mother".)  We pick a series and stick with it to the end.  Positive: We are not quitters.

2.  I get to zone out.  Completely.  I involve myself in a fictitious character's life and follow his hopes and dreams and romanticized life.  Positive: That's just like reading a book, right?

3.  My all-time favorite show is Friends.  I have hundreds of memories of visiting with my best friend at her condo each and every Thursday night while our puppies played together (well before children came into the picture).  We would talk, catch up, and completely focus on our Friends, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler and Ross.  We LOVED Friends.  We still watch reruns and call each other up and remind each other of a funny scene that we love.  My favorite episode of all time was "The One with the Embryos" in which the group challenges each other to a healthy game of "Who Knows Who Better?" trivia.  "Chanandler Bong...we steal that TV guide every week!"  Positive: TV makes your friendships stronger.  

4.  We quote TV.  Fran and I use quotes from TV or movies almost daily at our house.  There are some funny ones that just stick.  One of our many favorites is Steve Carell as Andy in "40 Year Old Virgin": "I don't want to cram pimpage."  Or Will Ferrell as Chazz Reinhold in "Wedding Crashers": "Mom!  I want some MEATLOAF!!!"  We even have Reese yell this on days we are having meatloaf.  Sounds strange and out of most contexts, but we do incorporate it into daily conversation.  Positive: Watching TV improves your memory and your recall ability.

I'm a proud supporter of the boob tube.  I think it's a fabulous device.  (Disclaimer: I do not feel the same way about it for Reese, though.)  MTV has been advertising for years, "I want my MTV."  I'll settle for simply, "I want my TV."

(Type) A is for Awesome!

I am admittedly a Type A+ person.  I like things neat and organized all the time.  I really am not trying to toot my own horn, but I am good at organizing things and I enjoy the act of organizing.  It relaxes me.  I have often thought of starting my own organizing business.  If things are not in their proper place, I have trouble relaxing.  I like things to be clean looking and sorted into their proper containers.  Reese already knows how to sort things accurately because of my undiagnosed OCD.

My motto is, "If it's not a right angle, it's a wrong angle." A friend I used to work with, who will remain nameless and too has a shared undiagnosed case of OCD, used to come into my classroom and move things on my desk so they were no longer at right angles.  She thought this was funny and did this to tease me.  It worked.  It totally worked.

I thrive on calendars, organizers, and lists.  I inherited that trait from my mother.  I have an impeccably clean and organized calendar.  I have many lists going at once.  I actually love the act of crossing things off of a list.  It makes me feel like I have accomplished something.  Sometimes, after I have completed a task, I'll add it to my list, just so I can cross it off.  Don't tell anyone that...it's actually kind of embarrassing to admit.  But my mom does it too, so it can't be that unusual, right?  Sorry, Mom...I realize I just threw you under the bus too, but great minds think alike.  My question in life is this...How on Earth does someone live without lists?  I just do not understand it.  Lists rule.

So bottom line...if you need a closet organized or ideas on how to make a task more efficient, I'm your girl!  I know I'm a nut, but I know there are other nuts just like me out there.